Friday, April 21, 2006

I've been sooo busy

The past few days have been filled with stories. Wonderful, celebrity filled stories. Tom and Katie have had a daughter. I don't really care, but I love all the hoopla surrounding the big news. I'm addicted. I've been searching the internet for more information about them and of course, Brangelina's pending baby has me thrilled and excited.

What will the super-celebrity baby look like? Will it be a boy or a girl? Will the poor thing get stuck with a crazy name like all the other celebrity kids? Suri, Ryder, Apple, Coco, Moxie, Phinneaus, Hazel and Moses, look-out baby Pitt is on the horizon.

For all you mothers out there, can you imagine being hounded by the press as you near the end of your pregnancy. Having to hide from the world in the hopes of having some privacy? I'm sorry for Brad and Angelina... well just a little. I'm one of the suckers that wants pictures and stories, I'm one of those people that add to their frustration. I BUY the crap that pays for the paparazzi's photos.

Long live the celebrities, and bring on super-baby Jolie-Pitt!

This article from the NY Post is VERY telling....

Not Since Jesus

While humanity awaits the arrival of the BRANGELINA BABY, the paparazzi scheme and scramble for a shot at the biggest score of all time.

Sometime in the coming weeks, perhaps as soon as the first week of May, somewhere in the world—probably Paris, but possibly Los Angeles, or maybe even Addis Ababa—Angelina Jolie will bequeath unto the celebrity weeklies a gift so magnificent that, until recently, few imagined such a thing was possible. She will give birth to Brad Pitt’s child.

Not since Jesus has a baby been so eagerly anticipated. Actually, forget Jesus. Only three wise men turned up to greet him in the manger. The Brangelina baby—as the megawatt couple’s spawn is known, at least until its parents give it a proper name—has People, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star, and Life&Style (working, of course, on behalf of the millions and millions of readers they serve) awaiting the newborn’s arrival, all of them hoping and scheming and planning to voyage to the ends of the Earth, if that’s what it takes, to get a first—preferably the first—glimpse of the blessed child.

Why are people, and People, so desperate to see the Brangelina baby? The men and women who helm the celebrity weeklies have an easy answer. Their readers, they explain, view celebrities as their friends; and as they would be with any friends, they’re interested in their so-called life events. The big three of life events, the theory goes, are weddings, breakups, and babies—hence the celebrity weeklies’ laserlike focus on celebrity weddings, celebrity divorces, and celebrity babies.

But even for a life event, celebrity-weekly editors go on to explain, the Brangelina baby is particularly enticing. For one, there’s the simple matter of aesthetics. “The parents happen to be two of the most gorgeous people on the planet. How gorgeous is that baby going to be?” wonders Bonnie Fuller, the editorial director of American Media, whose stable of magazines includes Star. Dan Wakeford, an executive editor of In Touch, offers a tentative answer: “This could possibly be the most beautiful baby in the history of the world.” Even more than looks, there’s the backstory. “There’d be a lot of interest if it was Jennifer Aniston’s baby,” explains an editor at one celebrity weekly, “but with Brangelina, there’s that extra factor that the Hollywood golden couple was broken up so that this relationship, and this baby, could happen . . . I mean, this is the baby Jen wouldn’t give Brad, and the fact that it’s Angelina giving it to him—my feeble little mind can barely handle it!”

In that sense, the birth marks the end of a modern fairy tale, the sentimental made-for-TV-movie moment of the happy new family in their cocoon of bliss (and for added narrative pleasure, there’s poor Aniston off smoking and getting naked in a bad-looking movie with chubby Vince Vaughn). Whoever contrives to get the shot of the gorgeous Pitt-Jolie offspring will not only enjoy a lucrative windfall. They’ll give us the closure we all crave, while throwing open the door to the next serial fairy tale (the inevitable marital bumps, etc.) that will delight and/or disgust millions of us around the world—and sell a ton of magazines. But first, the photo, or what Debra Birnbaum, the deputy editor of Life&Style, calls “the Holy Grail of celebrity journalism.”

3 Comments:

At 9:21 PM, Blogger suburban mom said...

I know -- for some reason I totally love brad and angelina :)

 
At 6:39 AM, Anonymous CarrieB said...

But the real question Kath is, when are YOU going to give the world #3?. Now that would be a story I would follow!

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Korie said...

Don't buy into Carrie's crap about a third baby. Give her a call around 10:30 in the morning on a Saturday when T is working. She won't be singing such a cheery tune about THREE.

 

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