My husband is not a dick
But last night he was. As usual, he had a full day at work. At 5:30 he called to say he was stopping by a friend’s house to help him do whatever-it-is-that-men-do-together-while-having-a-beer-after-work. He came home at 7:00 PM, ate dinner…. Then did the worst thing he could. He asked why I was acting like I was tired… WTF! I had just spent 12 hours alone with two kids under the age of 4! I needed a break. Then this is where he became a TRUE dick. He said, “What about me, don’t you think I want to come home and relax for a few minutes?”Unfortunately I did not have a gun, nor did my look kill him. WTF was the time he spent between 5:30-7:00 pm? Hey buddy that was your “FEW” minutes to relax!
I sometimes fantasize about getting up on a Saturday morning and just leaving. No not LEAVE, but just get up and go without asking if he minds staying with the kids. Wouldn’t that be funny? I mean he leaves everyday without asking if I mind, including Saturday and Sunday. When are my days off? Or better yet? When do I get a few minutes off? I’m on 24/7. If one kid wakes up in the middle of the night who gets up? ME, why? Because it’s my JOB! My job that never ends. I can’t go home and leave the “work” behind. They follow me. They find me even while taking a shit. I’m never alone. I can lock the door, but I can still hear them crying just outside of the door.
Luckily, 99% of the time I love my job. And I have this wonderful job because my husband is a hardworking guy. I really do appreciate that he needs a few minutes to relax. He just needs to learn to read my mind (a simple task!) and recognize that some nights it’s OK to say it and some nights he best keep those evil thoughts to himself.
posted by KatBliss @ 8:52 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
You are dreaming if you think I can ever read your mind. Also, I think I do a decent job of taking one or both of the kids when I can. If you would like to discuss this between the two of us, all you have to do is ask. When I say ask, I mean ask. Nicely!! Do not lay into me when I walk in the door. Do not tell me what I have to do. Ask nicely to talk, or if I might give you a moments rest.That is that!! I do love you!!
I think you should do it.
Wake up on a Saturday then after breakfast, grab your purse and just say sweetly:
"bye honey, I have some errands to do, be back in a few hours" :)
I do.
It is so hard.
The guys work so hard. I know they need a break. So many times, Todd comes though the door, and I all but shove a kid into his arms and grab my keys and haul ass out of the driveway because I SO need to get OUT!
I guess it is all a matter of perspective and trying to see the other person's view. Todd works hard and deals with people and stress and traffic and shit all day long. But I'm not there to "see" it for myself. In my mind (narcissistic as I am) my day is all about how much I have worked. My "break" is getting away from the kids. So my view of his 12 hour absence daily is that he has had a nice long "break".
What I need to do is consider that he probably views my 12 hour absence as "how nice she can stay home and do whatever she wants".
All in the perspective.
You two are so sweet. He's a great guy Kath. Go give him a hug!
You've basically articulated my ex's view of stuff without pissing me off like she did so many times.
But my child support payments would buy a new Benz. Not an entry level one, either, yet I'm stuck in an '88 Buick with a busted AC. So it doesn't matter what all my ex was wrong about.
And she was. Big time. I was the one enduring a crappy marriage in my view, yet she left.
So this is a warning to your not-a-dick hubbie: reverse course before it's too late. The beer doesn't taste as good on the other side. Honest.
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